September Submission #1

My best friend tequila and I had a fight last night.

Either that or a pants burglar broke in and stole every article of
clothing below my waist.

What am I doing right Now? I'm surveying the damage wearing a
wrinkled blue dress shirt, Brooks Brothers tie, and not much else.

Look, there's a shoe.

Hello there Kitty. Are you enjoying the Chinese food that I purchased
from God knows where? Don't look at me like that -- you have every
right to be up on the kitchen counter. Right next to my belt and
underwear.

And you, Mr. Coffee machine. Your telltale filter with chopsticks in
the grounds explains that dreadful taste in my mouth.

Hmmm. Flashing lights on my cell phone. Do I dare check my outbound
call log? Not yet. In fact, let's shut that thing off. I learned
long ago that nobody worth talking to leaves a voicemail before five
o'clock.

Judging from the matchbooks and crinkled receipts, I was practically a
nomad last night. Golly, I wonder who "Debbie" is and why her phone
number is written on the back of my business card. Ditto that for
"Geoffrey".

Ah tequila, how I long for your sweet embrace.